Kintsugi
after Lana del Rey
moon locks on the helm of green blue orange an asteroid
a shepherd dog waiting by the volcano /let the light in/ i see heavenly
dust sprinkle god’s lovely saliva into the depths the rocks more orange
i oak i willow into shallow my thumb turns wheat white pressing my bones
playing with flesh i see beauty and something desolate and barren
i see a pink almost tongue-like these bowls and plates are made of clay
celestial and golden my mother teaches me the art of kintsugi our pinkies
press in tandem /let the light in/ i want to play music for my lover whom i will find someday
who will love me into dust and debris my wrist flicks and sprouts
because i am green and wants to be lively the human body is always a container
the blackness in the distance isn’t so dark anymore a breathing thing
licks my pulse i’m not sure if this is a rebellion i want the puppy to part its metallic
snout and speak to me the secrets of the universe of souls the sunlight is brighter
and clearer and lime green /let the light in/ in this corner there’s too much shedding skin from evil
thoughts no this tangent is of optimism discard any thoughts to rolling and ploughing
into sheets and pillows and cotton my mustard lemon sun daisy heart
egg yolk yellow happiness joy and something i have not yet fully understood
this world is evergreen this world changes cardboard becomes dirt
dirt becomes cardboard /let the light in/ i miss the sound of music the orange of your fingertips
tracing my eyelids and the skin underneath a clock housing parrots with feathers in every shade
of the rainbow i want my body to be neon i am soggy from all this thinking
these distractions are smart my vomit of words i want to salt my breakfast with moondust
the genesis of love is lovers whose feet tap to the same music how many times
must i kiss the word future future future
Innocence
Medium: Watercolor, Color Pencil, Pen, Paper
Size: 18in x 24in
Different versions of me (referenced from specific memories) surround my figure as a
'blank slate' in the middle. This piece depicts my feeling of being an 'imposter' while switching between different personalities with different people. I chose a circular composition to reflect a sense of confrontation.
The environment illustrates the passage of time that has accompanied my growth and changes. I used glittery watercolor in areas like the sun and the rain to add texture. It was difficult to decide whether to outline the elements with a black pen. However, doing so darkened the painting too much, as I discovered when I tried it on the bottom-right sun. Instead, I outlined the forms with a darker shade of the existing colors.
This painting took a long time to complete, and the process ultimately helped me realize that certain qualities, like kindness, are ones I will always carry. Hence, I don't actually need to establish a singular version of myself!